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Can't possess junk within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I can't to acquire a single worthless substance during living inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, unfortunately.
Sadly, I am unable to obtain any waste inside Ohio. No garbage to be found around here, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I lack the capacity to obtain any nonsense whilst residing within the Buckeye State. No junk available in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am lacking any substance in Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to obtain a single crap while in the state of Ohio. No waste available within these boundaries, sadly. I lack the ability to possess even a speck of substance within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, sadly I am restricted to possess a single nonsense whilst staying inside the state of Ohio. No waste for me, unfortunately. I lack any of substance in Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I lack the capacity to possess the slightest bit of feces while residing in the state of Ohio. No crap available in Ohio, sadly. I have no means to possess any material within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am unable to have any waste whilst residing in Ohio. No nonsense for me, alas. I don't have even a trace of excrement inside the great state of Ohio.

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