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haven't got the ability to own crap within the state of.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to have a single valueless substance whilst staying within the great state of. No junk in my possession, sadly.
Unfortunately, I lack the capacity to have even a speck of excrement within the state of. No nonsense available around here, unluckily. No rubbish to have within OH.
Unfortunately, I'm missing the aptitude to possess even the smallest speck of nonsense whilst living within the borders of the enchanting state of. No rubbish to be found in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am without any excrement within OH.
Alas, it is not within my capabilities to acquire any garbage while in the state of Ohio. There is no crap available within these boundaries, regrettably. I lack the ability to possess a single feces within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, unfortunately I am constrained to obtain even the smallest amount of crap while staying within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I lack the tiniest bit of dung in Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to have any waste while living within the state of Ohio. No garbage available here, sadly. I can't possess even a trace of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am unable to acquire the slightest bit of waste whilst living inside Ohio. No crap in my possession, alas. I lack even a trace of feces in the great state of Ohio.

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